What am I saying then: Is the Law actually sin? Are they equal?
No, come on now—of course not. I wouldn’t have known what I was doing was wrong
if it wasn’t for the Law telling me it was wrong. I wouldn’t have known that
coveting was specifically wrong until the Law told me I wasn’t to do it.
Therefore I knew: Coveting is Wrong.
Thing is that the whole system, the principle, of Sin and
Wrongdoing, took advantage of the Law
that said “Don’t do this or else” and started making me to want exactly that.
See, without the Law saying “Don’t Do this specific Wrong” that specific wrong
would’ve just been your average, everyday, boring wrongness. But then when I
see it printed out—not to do this specific wrong—it became extra enticing.
You could say that I was okay once, before anyone explained
to me exactly what I was doing was wrong. But then came the Law and sin became
motivated. These commands which were to tell me how to live wound up being the
means to my death because sin was taking advantage of them, while lying to me
and effectively killing me.
So then, No---the Law isn’t sin and they aren’t equal. Both
the Law and the commandments are holy, perfect, and good.
You might be wondering if the Law (which is good) become the
cause of death for me? I mean, I just said that it was the means: but was it
the cause? No, of course not! But once again, it was that whole principle of
Wrongness--Sin. Evil Sin killed me through the Good commandments of the Law and
in so doing it proved itself to be completely wrong and Evil: the antithesis of
what the Law is. So in fact, the Law is spiritual but me—I’m flesh sold into
bondage to that principle of Wrongness.
I see it in my life: and I just don’t get it. I don’t do the
things I would like to do—but I’m doing the exact things I hate. And if I do
the things that I don’t want to do I mentally agree with the Law saying “Yup,
it’s right. What I’m doing is wrong.” But it’s not just me doing these things
but its sin inside of me.
Get this; there is nothing good inside of me—in my flesh
anyway. Because the desire to do good is inside of me but the actual doing good
isn’t. Because those good things that I want to do, I don’t do them; then I run
off and practice the evil things that in my mind I don’t want to do.
So I discover something about myself, a rule even: evil is
present in me—the person who wants to do good. Two principles: A man inside agreeing with
God’s Law and a different principle inside the parts of my body fighting
constantly against the law of my mind and will. It makes me, the inner person
who wants to do good, a prisoner to that principle of sin that is in my body
(that can’t do good).
I am so utterly disgusting—who will finally free me from
this rotting corpse that I’m trapped in? Oh thank God, it’s God Himself through Jesus Christ that I will be finally be freed but now I know that I wrestle: on the one hand
my mind is serving God’s spiritual principle but on the other hand my body keeps to the
principle of sin.
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I suppose that is why we need a fellowship. Have you found one since you moved? We are still looking here in Pgh.
God love you, Rey.